Initial Thoughts

WTF!!!

Is that what I think it is?

Ok, it’s just a lump, nothing major.

Okay if that’s really true why is my heart pounding out of my chest. It’s okay, I have a doctor’s appt. in a couple weeks, I’ll just make sure we talk about it!
Okay so he thinks it’s a cyst, but why do I not feel that way. Why do I have a feeling this ain’t that simple.
Mammogram! Cool, ultrasound? Okay! Why is the tech so quiet? Why does she have to get the doctor?
What is it? Not a cyst huh? Okay, so what now? Biopsy? Okay, but right now I’ve gotta go, my flight leaves in a few hrs and I gotta go put my game face on!
Okay, this is uncomfortable! But the waiting is worse than the pain!!!!
Okay God, here’s the thing, I know you don’t put more on us than we can handle. So can I just tell you, I don’t think I can handle this one. No, for real, I’m not too sure about this one. Can we just call this a REALLY BIG SCARE? I’m just sayin’ !!!!

CANCER!!!!! CANCER!!!!!! I’m 35 freaking yrs. old!!!!!! What is this, my life has finally started to make sense. I am finally making things happen in my life. Me for a change. I am getting things done for me!
Why????? What do I do now?

These are the thoughts I was having up until April 4th 2008!